Lost in the Directions
by Xo4UiWilL14xo
Summary: A simple girl with a hidden wild side is sucked and blinded into a life of drugs and violence due to a captivating love Matt brings.
1. Chapter 1

Name: Jackie Montral

Age: 19

Birthday:May 30, 1993

Sign: Gemini

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Green

Personality: Kind, Organized, Sarcastic, Focused, Adventurous, and a thrill seeker.

Background Info: After her mother had been signed to public relations job inJapan, Jackie and her family all moved fromL. she was 5 years old. She and her two older brothers attended an American school there. (I'm sure you guys have heard about those things, it's like the French Concession inShanghai.) So as well as learning the same curriculum as an American school, they also learned Japanese.

Jackie is aspiring to become a successful reporter/journalist, right after she finishes up college, though her father might think other wise.

* * *

Nowadays it seemed like my dad and I would run into arguments about everything. If I didn't clean anything, I was scolded at, if spoke talked back even if what I was saying was the truth, I was scolded… I was nineteen—a legal adult mind you—but I had no say in my future plans and I was still treated like a kid.

"Dad? How much longer do I have to stay here for?" I whined while wiping the grease off my fingers.  
"Just a little longer…" he was disappointed with me, and I saw it. He just wanted to see me appreciate this place as much as my eldest brother, Eddie did. Sean was smart enough to study over seas back inCalifornia and escape my father's plan in sucking him into this auto shop with Eddie.

"Yes well I have homework to be done at home…" I would never give him the chance, one little glimpse of appreciation and I was sure that he'd set me up to own this auto shop with Eddie.

"You know you have to help out around this time, why didn't you finish earlier?" He finally set down the wrench and wandered towards his office. I tried not to follow, and just crossed my arms looking at him. There really was no point in arguing because this conversation, if I continued it, would end up badly.

My dad sighed, defeated; when he saw my stern face "You could leave after you help that next customer…" he nodded at the red car just pulling up "alright?" nor he or I were in the mood of bringing up the issue of my major again.

I heavily sighed with annoyance and shoved the greasy napkin in my back pocket. "Fine"

With another sigh I walk up to the car, already trying to scope out any damages. The sooner I'd be done, the sooner I'd be able to run back home and finish up those two articles I'd left at the last minute. But there wasn't many, the car was spotless. The sheen on the car gleamed perfectly- doing justice to the cherry red color. Maybe there's a problem in the inside then?

But what surprised me the most was how old and classically beautiful this car was.

As much as I don't like that my dad pressuring me into the automobile business, I hung around here too much and it was turning my brain into a mechanic's … Just by looking at it I could tell this was probably a 1970 Camero. In short, it was an all American car, reminding you the essence of what the 70s was all about. The glass Pepsi bottles, the Beatles, hamburger joints, and the oh so familiar "Happy Days" show tune going off in your head. Yup it was Classic America all wrapped in a car.

Funny how an American car would pull up at an auto shop in Japanof all places?  
The driver rolled down the window and I leaned on the post. I was expecting at least an old man behind the wheel, but it turned out to be a kid? Boy specifically, he was probably my age, or maybe older, I would think maybe twenty or twenty one. He had reddish brown hair, and wore the most distinctive goggles? You never know when a blizzard might dish out in the middle ofTokyo, right?

"So what's the problem?" I restrained myself from saying 'sir' like I usually did. I was too used to old hags pulling up to our shop.  
He rolled the cigarette to the side of his mouth "the radio's busted, and the cassette player is jammed… I think"

"That's it? I mean it's a pretty old car, a 1970 Chevy, if I'm correct. You sure you don't need a tuning, or maybe even a new muffler?" I asked trying to recall if the muffler actually did sound okay when he drove in.

"A girl who knows her cars" he leaned closer to the spot I was leaning in close to the ledge.

I grimaced moving away from the post, and crossed my arms. "Do you want me to fix your radio or not?" I'm here to work and if my dad catches me flirting with a customer, he just might decide not pay for my tuition for college.  
He sighed- a cloud of smoke escaping his lips as he unlocked the door "that's what I'm here for, right"  
"that's what I thought" with a cheesy, three year old smile, I stepped into the passenger seat and leaned over to the radio.

The boy watched me for awhile before his cell phone rang some ironic blend of rock and heavy metal-he picked up and then stepped outside.

I found it amusing; as much as I don't like to label anyone, he was that kind of boy.

He flipped the cell phone open and leaned against the outside of the car, so all I could see was his back turned to me.

"I'm kind of in a tight bind; you think you could hold on a few minutes?"

I was trying not to eaves drop, but come on, who the hell talks so loud that they don't want to be heard? If anything he's the one making his conversation prominent. But I continued my job-Trying not to get too caught up in the eavesdropping.

I peeked into the hole, where the cassette usually would be placed. And there it was, the one stubborn cassette refusing to come out…

"God damn it, fine, fine. I'll be there. Cut me some slack"

Suddenly I heard the car door slam shut and the boy was in the car again with the cell phone tightly in his grip, his expression filled with annoyance.

He fiddled for his keys, then finally turned on the ignition.

"um… what are you doing?" I asked confused, watching him throw out his old cigarette and light himself another new one.

"Get out"

Get out? Was this guy for real?

"That's a pretty strong command for someone who came to ask for help from a girl about cars" I snapped  
"I can't take you with me"

Am I going crazy or was he here for my help? To get HIS car fixed. Why's he leaving when I'm not even done yet?  
"But I'm not don-"

Frustrated, he let out a heavy breath and the smell nicotine seeped into my nostrils as he checked his watch. He threw his right arm behind my seat and quickly shifted the car in reverse.  
The impact was so sudden, that I fell forward, almost hitting the dashboard.

"What the hell dude? I said I'm not done! Are you deaf or something? And plus the freaking door is still open?"

I gripped into onto the seat, my nails digging into the leather. I looked frantically from him to the open door swinging violently beside me.

"Then what are you just sitting there for? Close it!"

I looked at him once more, but then rapidly shut the door, right before we hitMain Street, right outside my dad's auto shop-wait…. MY DAD!

I struggled to get a good look of his office; dad had ran out of his office from the loud skid but I'm sure he didn't realize that I was in the car driving off.

"Hey! Hey um..." what was his name again? Did he ever even tell me?

"Matt" he simply replied while making a sharp turn, yours?

I should have figured plain all American car, plain all American name. But I shouldn't be one to talk; I mean Jackie isn't really exotic or non American either.

"Yeah um ... Jackie." Although I really don't think this is the right time we should be introducing each other. I mean, honestly, I'm in a fast moving car with some strange guy? Who knows what he's up to? "You need to quickly just drop me off please! My dad's back there, he's probably freaking out!"

He didn't answer me but keenly watched the road ahead.

"Matt…Matt?" when I got his attention, I faltered a bit "… Um can I please know where we're going? And what the hurry is anyway, that you have to drive like 100 miles a minute?" I blurted out my eyes racing from one car to another whizzing past and behind us, outside.

"Just shut up and I'll explain later"

Later? I think I should know now, don't you think? For all I know you might be some perverted kidnapper.

I shivered at the thought, no, okay, maybe that was too drastic, but wait what if he is… What then? I mean he kind of looks like the type.

I glanced back at him, his structure almost slouchy and he had that whole cool guy with an emo twist thing going for him, which a lot of those dangerous guys have nowadays, even the poise and determination on his face was If his intentions are anything I think they are, that makes it even freakier.

"'veheardrunningnaroundtokoyo?"I blurted out in one breath.

That one sentence, well one word to be literal, was the only thing that had completely caught his attention this whole time.

Matt turned his head towards me, his eyes glaring at me through those tinted goggles, utterly confused.

He stared at me even longer, with a deep look of confusion and innocence?

Suddenly I heard a loud and deep obnoxious sound. I looked ahead and a truck was driving straight towards us?

"Hey! Keep your eyes on the road!" my hand quickly grabbed onto the wheel, swerving the car in the right direction. And just in time, any later and both of us would be wedged between those large tires.

The brown haired boy finally snapped out of his glare and took the wheel in his control again.

"No"

Huh? I was too shaken from the almost collision coarse we were about to have that I almost forgot what we were talking about before,

"So you're not trying to kidnap me?"

"No. I'm not. I'm just carrying out a mission-"

Mission? What mission? Don't tell me he's going to whip out some gadgets and call himself a spy later….

"I told you to get out of the car, but you didn't, as simple as that. This situation is very time sensitive, you see"

No, I don't.

I finally fell silent.

Maybe I was being too dramatic for this occasion. But still, that doesn't mean anything; I still don't know what's going on and where the hell we're headed.

My fingers tapped nervously against the window as I looked out through it, watching the buildings and cars rapidly pass by. I could tell you we were beyond the speed limit but I stayed silent, just because if I asked anymore questions this guy just might blow his top off. I was already annoying the hell out of him.

I spotted a large building quickly approaching, distinct from the others.

Sakura TV station?Is that where we're honestly going?

"So this is where your mission is? What are you going to do? Get yourself Ms. Takada's autograph?" I laughed at the thought.

Wow, this guy really is a dork.

He grumbled and looked at me with annoyance, "no" it sounded like that word should have come out of a 5 year old mouth not a 21 year old's. "I'm here for something else"

His gloved hand reached for something under his seat and I watched him struggle for it while he kept on driving.

A glint of success gleamed on his face when he finally reached it and pulled it out. It was a gun?

"YOU'RE GOING TO KILL MS. TAKADA!" I gasped, the thought was almost crazy.

"Eh? No, this isn't what this gun does. Don't you know that?"

"I'm not a guy, I wouldn't know in the first place"

"Well you awfully know a lot about cars, and you're a girl"

Funny how that goes, isn't it?

"That doesn't mean anything" I crossed my arms over my chest, eyeing him closely.

He just rolled his eyes, tossing me the gun.

I looked at him confused before throwing it on the floor. I refuse to ever use or hold a gun; it could take out a life. It's just plain wrong.

"Why'd you give me that?" I bit out.

"Might as well make yourself useful while you're here"

"What?"

"All I need you to do is when you see Ms. Takada, shoot at the ground close to her"  
You know how I was confused before? Yeah, I'm triply times confused now... if triply is even a world.

Matt glanced at me from the corner of his eye, sensing my confusion.

"The thing is, from where I'm sitting I won't reach her, only you could and don't worry, it doesn't shoot bullets" he smirked noticing my fear of holding a gun.

"But I don't know how to handle a gun and frankly I refuse to hold one"

"Just do it. It's simple, you aim and then fire"

"But-"I thought for moment.

Can this really be a good idea? What if someone really does get hurt? And it'll all be my fault… But then again he said this thing doesn't shoot bullets.

"Fine, only if you tell me what's going on and why I have to do this"

"I told you, I'll explain later"

I huffed simply looking away from Matt, "fine, then find someone else to do it, I'm not going to"

He looked at me with much irritation before mumbling to himself. "It's like I'm talking to a five-year-old…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing-Just we don't have time" He nodded at the parking lot entrance we were already passing through, "Are you ready?"

"Huh, what?"

"The gun!"

"Oh right," I bent over and quickly picked up the metal gun by my feet and fiddled with it until I was holding it right, I think

Matt hastily rolled the window down and took a sharp turn so I was facing the crowd and most importantly Ms. Takada.

"You ready?"

I nodded childishly as my index finger rested on the trigger. Closing one eye, I tried to aim at the correct spot, but my hands were already shaking violently with nervousness.

"Hurry Jackie!"

"I can't" I suddenly shut both my eyes tightly, afraid to open them.

I've never used a gun before in my life, this is all too overwhelming, even if it doesn't shoot bullets, it's still a gun! What else would it shoot?

"God dammit" Matt swiftly removed his seat belt and leaned over my lap to reach my hand and hold up with me. "Girls these days…" he sighed, the smoke filling my nostrils, as he rested his finger over mine and pushed the trigger.

The loud intense noise could probably be heard for miles- not just the havoc and screams coming from the fans and people.  
I opened my eyes suddenly to only see smoke filling the parking lot.

A smoke bomb? But in gun form… weird

Matt let go of my hand and the warm gun dropped on my lap.

"I told you it didn't shoot bullets" the ends of his pink lips formed into a grin.


	2. Chapter 2

My heart was pumping fast and my fingers jittered nervously- tapping against the dashboard. We were speeding downMain Streetwith a dozen of Japanese car cops chasing us, and while I was fretting, Matt was normal…. Chill…. And collective….?

I assume bad boys like him liked the adrenaline- the blood pumping and the dangerous edge you had of getting caught but escaping right by in the end with sheer luck….

But once you really do get caught, the fun's sucked out right beneath you. And that same fun, almost pleasurable adrenaline, seizes to ever come back.

"You alright?" Matt's eyebrows rose, his pupils scrutinizing me from the comer of his eyes.

"Of course I am…." I sighed "….because I just love being whisked away by a stranger and than assaulting a celebrity just to be chased my policemen"

"I get it..." another puff of smoke blew out from his lips and this time, it went string to my head.

"Then why'd you ask?" I snapped

He nonchalantly shrugged. "Cuz'" he made a funny childish defiant face, probably trying to mock me.

I just looked away from him, rolling my eyes as I did so… but as soon as I looked away my eyes fixed upon something ahead.

"Hey!"

With a sudden realization we were gradually going onto the wrong side of the road, about to crash into a car I took hold of the wheel, again. "Pay attention, dammit!"

Swerving the car in the right direction, we passed the honking car but then Matt pointed out the blockade the police had created right ahead of us. So his master plan was to crash into the car to escape the cops….This guy needed to learn a few things about a real escape.

"Me? How about you?" he tried to take hold of the wheel again, but in a sudden panic it kicked in my head that there was a car dealership coming right next to us and so I quickly turned the wheel, crashing straight into the large windows of the car shop. Glass shattered and on-looking pedestrians yelled in horror.

There has to be a backdoor, garage door? Any door of some sort? How else were these cars sitting in this place?

"Over there" it was like Matt had tuned into my head.

My eyes darted to the garage door as I tried to weave the car though all the other show cars and people, and before we knew it we were both out of the store, safe and thankfully out of the sight of the police men, but I kept steering while he pressed the acceleration pedal like their was no tomorrow. He didn't stop until we hit a secluded part of town away from the light of the city.

It wasn't a good ten minutes from where I stopped that I realized I so incredibly close to Matt, my body leaning over his just to reach the wheel. My thighs touched his lap, and he noticed as well.

I suddenly let go and resumed my normal seat, "Here"

He snapped out of whatever thought he was in and than threw out his old short cigarette bud. "Thanks"

I just nodded.

And than the redhead smirked as he took hold of the wheel and slowly made his way to whatever place we were now going. "So you really are a car nut"

I turned my head to get a good look at him "I don't like cars…"

His eyebrows knit together as he huffed "you're a little to good at dodging cars.." he insinuated with a larger smirk

"Yeah so?" I didn't like the tone to his voice.

"So….I'm just saying you panic like an idiot, and then when it comes to escaping you're a pro, something gives" he tapped his new cigarette outside the window letting the ashes fall. "I think you were a street racer" he grinned menacingly at me.

And then suddenly it all came back to me, those danger night rides, the crowds and late hours…. I'd gamble on my own races and break curfew just to hang around dangerous people I knew were dangerous and yet still chose to stick around.

"not anymore" I was disgusted with that time in my life. While other teens wallowed with angst, I drowned in the dangerous adrenaline kicks. It was sickening; it took over my life, my grades, my friends, my family and my sleep. I was too obsessed and one day it caught up with me with a horrible crash and a wrathful father waiting at home.

His eyebrows rose skeptically but I ignored him and dropped the conversation, whole.

Matt and I headed down the alleyway, took a few turns and suddenly we were in a very unfamiliar and secluded part of town.

"Where are we?"

"We're still in Tokyo"  
"are you sure?" I was not convinced, this place hardly resembled like the busy and urban city I'd come to know. In fact it was the total opposite-Runt down buildings, empty and dirty streets, and laundry wires clumsily hanging from window to window graced the place.

"Positive, we're just in another borough" the boy finally found the spot he was looking for and shut the engine off, abruptly getting out of the car. He then waited for me when he noticed my reluctance in getting out of the car. "You coming or what?"

"-But-"

"-But what? You want to get caught?"

I threw him a look of uncertainty.

Should I trust him? I did all this way, didn't I?

I took a few moments but I finally stepped out of the car, letting him break of the license plates and then cover the retro car.

"Follow me" Matt shoved the license plates into his inner coat pocket and walked down the street, casually-with hands in his pockets.

"Wait…" I tried to catch up with him "What happens now? I have a life back home you know. I need to go back"

"Shut Up" his tone was in much annoyance.

I was taken aback. Why should I shut up? This situation, I have to say, is very serious. Not to mention I just saved his butt, I need answers.

"Do you want everyone to hear you?"

I looked around and saw no one; this was a completely deserted and empty street "there isn't anyone here"

"It might not seem like it, but people are listening to us" Matt pulled up his collar further, "So just don't talk and simply follow me. I could explain later" he whispered.

I sighed with much aggravation, how much longer did I have to take this? My anxiety was eating me up inside.

"Fine..."I finally grumbled.

The two of us walked a block down until we came upon an old pub styled to look like it belonged inLondonwith its décor consisting ofUKflags and antique family crests.

I stepped into the tavern which was mostly filled with foreigners.

A swift nod and the bartender tossed Matt a set of keys. From there both of us walked past all the smoke and fog, reaching a door in the back of this tavern.

Matt quickly found the right key and we headed down the steps.

I was hesitant. "You coming?"

I don't know. This was all too strange and wrong for my taste…

"Seriously" he sighed "if I wanted to do something, I would have done it already."

I threw him a funny face. "Alright, alright…" with a heavy breath, I continued my journey down the stairs again.


	3. Chapter 3

Once we reached the bottom, I was open to an old dingy room. It was dimly lit and filled with a mess of wires from a couple of laptops and video game consoles.

The redhead, threw off his jacket, plopped down on a couch and flung the cigarette from his mouth, just to light himself another one.

"Make yourself at home." He sighed, the smoke traveling all around him. I'm confident enough to say that he was a chain smoker; I'm sure he's smoking the last cigarette of his pack of the day.

My green eyes looked at him confused.

Home... I wasn't about to stay here. It didn't even matter anymore of what the issue was with him and Ms. Takada, but I just wanted to go home….

"Home? This isn't my home… I need to go back home…" I calmly explained this time.

Matt shook his head, rubbing his forehead as he leaned forward on his knees, "If I let you go, I'd have to kill you because you're a little too involved not. I suggest you stay."

"Involved with what and who, exactly?"

My eyebrows stitched together, my face tensing up at the glare he was giving me.

He was dead serious and it frightened me.

"…haven't you guessed it by now?"

I was shaking in my shoes, it was dawning on me slowly and that's why it was hurting me the most…

Hold up…."y-you're the ones on the news so often…your part of-"

"The mafia" and then that tense gaze was gone and he so nonchalantly said it as if it was nothing at all.

My insides were churning and turning in to mush "B-but-"

"Aw Christ…!"

I turned my head at the sudden outburst from the door.

There stood a tall blonde headed boy who, for some odd reason, had the hair style of a girl….

Even so, the girly style of his hair didn't affect the masculine and frighteningly tense and stern façade he had.

"Not this shit again Matt…"

The blonde starred from me to Matt.

Matt sighed, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. "It isn't what you think"

"Oh?" The blonde boy walked up to me, his eyes scrutinizing every curve of my body to a point that I felt visually raped.

"What's your problem?" I barked, crossing my arms just to cover up anything my v-neck shirt could have revealed.

His eyebrows rose, a grin growing on his face as he looked towards Matt again "Then why does she look like a fuckin' whore?"

My eyes popped out of my sockets at what he said. "Excuse me!" I walked up to him "what do you fucking mean I look like a damn whore?"

The blonde suddenly dropped his smirk, his eyes blazing.

Suddenly, he grabbed my neck, pulling out a gun, pointing it under my chin. "Watch who the fuck you're talking too!"

I tried to claw myself out of his grip, but he was too strong. I was loosing air-fast, my head getting light.

"Mello!"

His eyes averted to Matt quickly, still filled with hatred.

"Let her go!"

Mello tightened his grip even more as if to defy him.

"Mello, you'll kill her! She actually helped me!"

The blonde, squinted his eyes, glaring at Matt and watched his stern face, until he finally let go of me- dropping me to the floor.

I was horrified. I tried to catch my breath while crawling away from this so called Mello mafia member as much as I could.

He huffed with a chuckle when he saw how frightened I was…. It made my blood boil.

"So what'd you do to help out such a bad group of guys like us?" he bent down low, in front of me, holding my chin tightly.

I made a face, annoyed. I wanted to get away from this man and cower behind Matt for protection even if he was part of the mafia like this man. At least he was a bit more subtle with things.

"That doesn't matter…." Matt interrupted me right before I could talk. "All that matters is she saved my life and saved this plan of ours"

Mello's eyebrows rose at Matt, surprised just before he slowly turned his head back at me, grinning.

Suddenly he let me go, walking back up towards Matt "That's all fine, but we can't trust her" he glanced back at me.

"I know… "Matt puffed out yet another cloud of smoke from his mouth, "That's why I was thinking we could maybe… ya know… make her a mem-"

Mello's eyes grew wide, "What's wrong with you man; we can't…look at her!"

Their eyes averted to me, I starred back at them innocently. I knew how pure and naïve I looked- Totally straight edge…. A goody two shoes with a full proofed successful future ahead of me

"I-I promise I won't tell anyone a thing… just please let me go back home" I pleaded.

Mello, rubbed his tense face, annoyed "We can't…."

"It's not that easy… you've probably been seen by many police officials already…" Matt pulled out a chocolate bar from his pocket and threw it towards Mello "Even if you went back home…. You'd be questioned… Arrested…. tortured, even"

The blonde sighed with a subtle smirk as he started to munch on the bar, relieving himself from all his temper and stress.

"No but they'll understand!" I tried to reason more to myself then to the two of them. "I never meant to hurt anyone…"

"And you'll pretend you never saw us or even talked to us?" Mello questioned sharply, his anger rising again.

I didn't answer, mostly because I didn't know how to. Who knew what I'd say if I wanted to save my own future.

"See!" Mello barked at Matt, "We can't trust her! We should just kill her now!"

I hastily got up, afraid at the look Mello threw me. I should run away from this place, staying here was even more dangerous then just being caught by the police.

"That bitch will give us away!"

Matt looked at me with a stare "I-"

Fuck it, call me a coward or whatever, I ran fast, that my feet were numb by the time I reached the front door of the bar. I heard yells and screams from Mello's strong voice, but I ignored them and sprinted out of the tavern and down the alleyway, until I was deep within the small walkways of these tenements.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked, down those wet roads and up those small alleys, trying to make sense of the routes Matt and I took just a few hour of ago, when I first got into this mess.

It was dark and the only thing that gave me a sense of security was moon shining above.

I wanted to crawl back from where I cane from but how? I didn't know this place and as much as I hate to say it, I was lost. Yet I refused to ask for directions and kept walking… well mostly because the streets of this part of town were all deserted and only homeless folk occupied these corners.

A sudden gush a wind blew past and I wished even more I knew where I was walking….

Shivering with the cold, I stopped in my tracks to collect myself.

I needed a plan and a good one, fast.

I started to think of all these ways to get back home and the story I'd tell my family, but then suddenly I was interrupted with the sound of a slow running car.

For an odd reason this surprised me because frankly all this time I was walking I saw no cars on this street whatsoever.

I didn't turn to see the car, instead kept walking on my way, pretending I never heard it. I needed to mind my own business.

I kept walking a bit faster now, I guess the beats of my heart where syncing with my feet, because for some reason I had this instinct of being in danger.

Hastily I started to run, faster and faster but the sound of the car got louder. Now panic started to seize over my body and my chest started to tense up so much that it felt like it was difficult to breathe.

I heard a few heavy yells and before I knew it I felt someone trying to grab my shoulder.

I finally tilted my head to look back and there I caught a glimpse of a van full of shabby men around their mid to late 20s.

Two of them had jumped out, one who wore a skull cap and thought he looked cool with one ear pierced and one who had just tried to grab my shoulder and the blood shot eyes would suggest he'd been doing something recently.

I panicked even more; I didn't know what they were going to do. I was afraid so I ran even faster but eventually the one with the skull cap caught up to me and held on to my hand whipping me around so I faced him and fell into his grasp.

"What do you want?" I spit out, literally.

He looked disgusted, "Calm down!"

I shoved, kicked and tried to claw myself out, but I saw his friend, who'd caught up to us to hold me down.

"Shut this bitch up!" the high one spat.

I glared at him and before I could think I punched him with so much force, it surprised both of them, including me. For a moment, they let me go, letting me escape and run away, but to no avail because while the one tried to wipe the blood now dripping from his nose, other caught me right by the waist and hauled me over.

"The boss said not to lay a scratch on you, but you're making it rather difficult!" the one with the nosebleed barked, while slipping out some sort of handkerchief out.

"Cool it!" the capped man yelled at the other one. "He'll ruin you if you touch her…"

The one sighed, giving me a dark look.

I wanted to slap him, so hard that my hand could leave an imprint, but I was tied down. These two men were too heavy for me to push off.

The guy supposedly named, Jason just wiped the dripping blood and growled at me, before covering my mouth with that same handkerchief I thought he was about to use for his nose.

I was going to scream right there and then but I fell. Fell into the dark abyss, leaving everything unsettling in my stomach and the desire to come back to life, but I couldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

"Wake Up!" Ice cold shivers ran through my back. The chill was so shocking it threw me off and completely frightened the soul out of me.

Where was I? Who was this person?

Blinking uncontrollably until I realized there was a blindfold over my eyes, I coughed out the water that'd made it somehow into my mouth and squabbled to get to my feet, but I felt tight cuffs around my ankles and hands restraining me to do so. I breathed heavily when I suddenly felt the pressure of someone against my body. I wanted to scream, but before I even could, rough hands grabbed my chin; squeezing the flesh of my checks hard.

A raspy voice of a man chuckled. "I just need answers, love" it felt as if he was grinning, starring down my face and my chest heaving at a fast pace, up and down.

"W-What for…" I couldn't help but whisper with a few tears and hiccups. The thought of rape, or even worse, death, kept running in my head. I'd be that girl who was unfortunate enough to end up on the top of page five on some sad newspaper. The headline being enough for you to read a couple of sentences before you'd realize that this stuff happens all the time… just not to anyone you knew...

He laughed again, full of cruelty as few others joined in with him, all sounding vaguely familiar to those in the van.

The idea frightened me, and frankly I was so flustered with the embarrassment of seeming so vulnerable, that all I could do was weep even more.

"For the business we share"

What business? I had nothing to do with however this man was; I don't even know who this man was?

I sniffled, suddenly getting defensive "I share no business with you! I'm simply a student…." my voice started to soften again, "…. So please…. Let me go…"

The request was simply out of the question. This man was set on torturing me and having a good time about it.

"A student, hmm?" he grunted angrily, squeezing my face harder.

I nodded, wincing from the pain of his hands. "Yes" I sighed exasperated.

"Liar!" and with a burst of fury, a sharp hot pain rang across my check. He slapped me?

I was so thrown off; I fell to my side, listening to the men in the background laugh at my pain. I refused to sit up as more tears soaked the blindfold; so I laid there almost lifelessly pretending as if the slap didn't bother me, but obviously the tears were deceiving.

"You're in the Mafia with Mello! And with Matt!" He ranted. "You were seen today in a car chase and are wanted by the police men ofTokyo! So don't tell me that's you're some… student….." he hissed.

I couldn't believe how fast media could travel such news. Matt and Mello were right….. "I-I…"

"Enough!" hastily the man bent down to my head, and as I tried to get away as quick as I could his hand held a tight grip of my arm and pulled me up to his length.

"Tell me where the two are…" he brushed my strands of hair from my ear, whispering. "…And I won't harm you"

I was silent; I didn't know how to respond. Not because of the fact that I really didn't know where Matt had taken me, but because I'd be betraying them. I wasn't afraid of Mello as much I was afraid of this man right now, but even if I told his man of their hideout, I'd be getting myself involved…. But then again, I already am…..right?

"I…" I faltered under his presence, even if I couldn't see him, his ora was effusively strong and menacing.

"Jackie!"

My heart quickened; Matt? Helplessly, I looked about until I heard the man holding me grunt with a smirk and laugh.

Suddenly, someone slid off my blindfold, shedding light into my view.

"If you want to save her…Matt I suggest you come by for a visit" the man sneered.

"Wes!"

I blinked once… twice, before I realized I was in the arms of a lean yet muscular foreign man with jet black hair. His hair was long and untamed, his face tense and musky; if he tried he would have passed off as a twenty nine year old, but the grudge attitude and outlook made him look older.

So this one was the so called boss…

Panicking, I tried to push him off, but his hands tightly dung deeper into my shoulders.

"Matt... M-Mello!" my eyes lingered towards the voices of the two men but I saw that it was actually a phone not the two themselves in the flesh.

This so called Wes laughed once again, swinging back and forth with me in his arms. "Look, you're little gang bang is calling for you Mello… You've replaced Stacy already?"

"You son of a bi-" Mello snarled, but just as he was about to curse and burst, someone else came on the line.

"Wes, This girl has nothing to do with us. So I suggest you just let her go" Matt tensely stated, but Wes wasn't buying it at all.

He wrapped me into him harder, making me wince. Man, this dude reeked of so many drugs I'm sure by just inhaling his scent one could get high. "Now come on Matt, you know I'm that easy….especially on girls"

The scull capped man from the van snickered behind me. I never knew they were this close before.

Mello pushed Matt aside; I could here it in their bickering. "Wes! When I come over there …..And rip that damn skull off your head, you won't be the onl-"

"You have 10 minutes!" The dark haired man pulled out his gun, making my eyes grow wide with fear. "Or else Jackie dies."

He knew my name?... Right my wallet was missing from my pocket…

I whimpered "Matt-" but before I could even have my say in this, the one with bruising nose, clicked off the phone.

Wes grinned to himself before slowly turning down towards me, just to stare. "The one weakness I've finally found."

My eyes narrowed, what was he gawking at!

Suddenly, he whipped up his gun, and pointed the nose of it against my forehead, pressing it hard against my skin.

I watched him tearfully. He wouldn't… no… he has 9 minutes!

"B-But there's nine min-"

"-Wouldn't it be grand to see you're friends devastated after finding your cold dead body" his eyes pierced mine.

My breath caught in my throat. He would…he was dead serious.

"P-Please…" I closed my eyes crying loudly; I didn't want to die. I wanted to live…. See my brothers for the last time, finish college, god damn it, I wanted to get married?

My face scrunched, frustrated; sweat pouring from my head, I didn't know what to do, I was trapped, all I could do was give up... But I didn't want to.

"It's always nice to see a woman beg…" Wes snickered with his buddies just as he pulled back a lever on the gun with his thumb.

I flinched under him, so furious with his damn remarks. Without thinking and somewhat out of the panic of a gun so close to my forehead, I punched his gut, with my two cuffed fists with all my might.

The mobster stumbled back letting me go, surprised and clutching his sore stomach, couching as he did so.

All the while I tried to run away, but to avail since my ankles, just like my hands were chained to each other; so when I ran, I fell, hard…. Right on my ass…. Crawling hopelessly was the only thing I could do, and so I tried even that…

The boss suddenly turned his eyes to me ablaze with fury, anger and revenge. "You bitch!"

I could care less of what he called me; I needed to get away, for my dear life. With scattered thoughts, I inched hurriedly away, just as he started slowly to approach me.

It wasn't until I felt something cold and metallic press against my lower stomach did I stop. Quickly running my cuffed hands thought it, I struggled to pick up the gun. I must have been Wes's gun that'd dropped when he let me go.

I sighed somewhat relieved, pointing the gun with all my might to Wes.

He stopped in his tracks, surprised, throwing his hands up. For a moment I saw fear glint in his eyes, but then dramatically and quickly he smirked, throwing me an almost seductive grin.

"I-I'll shoot!" my voice was shakier than I wanted it to be.

"Then go ahead" his grin grew wider, spreading from ear to ear with so much malice.

"Boss! Let me!" a gang member volunteered in with his own gun, whipping it out of his pocket.

Wes chuckled, "No, no, she won't shoot"

My eyes stiffened, my eyebrows knitting together.

Oh yes I can…if I really wanted to!

"Go ahead Jackie….. shoot me"

My eyes suddenly wavered, focusing in on the gun in my hand then at Wes standing over and in front of me. I didn't want to cower under him and prove him right, but he was getting to me….. the piercing stare, his grin…. He was totally right… he knew from my body language that I really wouldn't shoot anyone.

The dark haired man huffed at me. " I knew it….. You're weak… You're no Mafia member…" he bent over, holding up my chin once again. I stood still, stiff from fear. "… You're just some toy for them to play with…"

My green eyes widened, piercing him as he leaned in close to my face skimming over it, breathing on my pores; it made me shiver with a slight whimper. He grinned at my reaction before snatching the gun away from my hands. Instead of moving away afterwards to shoot, he got even closer; gripping the neckline of my shirt. Wes brought me so uncomfortable close to his face that I tried to turn away with repulsion, but he tried so hard to keep it in place with my chin.  
"Look at me dammit!"  
I jumped a bit, fluttering open my eyes just to stare at his checks... I refused to meet his eyes.

Wes suddenly got frustrated, with my tolerance, squeezing my cheeks hard just to shake my head back in forth "I want you to look at me in the eyes when I kill you..., hmmm?" his voice bellowed so violently.  
I had no other choice but to obey; I looked up to his blue tense eyes, angry.  
"I hate you" I whispered when he started to smirk at my gaze.  
"No worries love, everyone does" slipping his hand behind my head, his fingers twisting in my black hair, did he finally crash his face into mine.

Shocked, I tried to push Wes away, trying to turn my head and lips away from his; but the kiss only deepened when he bit down on my lower lip.  
The bite was enough for me to groan in pain, and that was exactly what he wanted, because right when my tense stiff lips parted, the man stuck his tongue inside. I knew my lower lip was now bleeding because of the ache and hot sensation throbbing where he'd just bit it.

What a horny bastard, I knew this was coming but I thought Matt and Mello would have come to rescue me before it could even happened.

With his other hand he pressed his gun hard against my skull, a silent gesture meaning that I had to cooperate or else he'd shoot. But that didn't stop me, I tried so hard to squirm out of his grip, it wasn't until I felt his groin press hard against my sore one that I panicked and stopped, shaking with fear. It was because of the aches that I suddenly realized what probably happened when I was unconsciousness for all that time.

I suddenly burst, not wanting to bottle up the emotion; and so I started crying, hysterically and loudly, just as I felt him sliding further down my neck. I covered my eyes with my cuffed hands, wanting it all to end. It didn't matter now if he shot, as long as I'd be free from all this torment. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, from everyone.

"That's enough, Wes!" a loud sharp voice rang within the room, but it wasn't Matt or Mello which I was expecting, but a woman.

I felt Wes finally and slowly release his pressure on me, to stand up face to face with the girl.

I kept still and silent with closed eyes, shaking violently as I curled my knees into myself holding them in place with trembling hands.

"Stacy!" I heard Wes bark at the girl who'd just stopped the show.

I peaked through the blanket of thick hair that sprawled over my face, and there stood a shapely and thinly curved brunette girl, her hazel eyes furious yet so worried and frightened at the same time.

"What?" she yelled back, flipping out her own gun as Wes furiously pressed his own against her forehead.

Wait wasn't this the same Stacey…. The one who Wes brought up to Mello?

"How dare you interfere with my affairs, you b-"

Stacy suddenly moaned, "I don't like it when you play with other girls" she tugged on his collar with a low grin.

The comment was half hearted. I didn't understand why it was so, until she glanced back at me, not furious, but sympatric with a pitiful smile she quickly gave me without Wes's noticing. It wall surprising, I was expecting her to cuss at me.

Wes slowly wrapped his strong forearms around Stacy, grinning at her seductively. She smirked back, before breaking away from him, and gradually walking towards me. Stacy looked down upon me, and our eyes met. Her hazel ones piercing my green ones, we didn't need to speak at all for us to understand each other. For a moment, I felt like she was going to tell me it'd be okay and open my chains, but then she huffed.

She looked back up towards Wes, smiling. "Come to my room when you're done here" and with that she walked out of the dingy shed.

Her tactics were brilliant; in an instant she'd diverted Wes's thoughts and put new motives in his head.

While he basked in his r-rated thoughts, right then Matt's car drove right into the large shed. Mello sat in the passenger seat, his window open and his gun in hand as he shot the scurrying and shooting member's of Wes's gang.

"Damn" Wes grunted, shooting at the car, but Matt's driving skills were just too good for Wes's bullets to even touch Mello.

Mello quickly jumped out of the passenger seat to shot any of the members he could savage, a furious and dangerously barbaric expression on his face. And all the while, Matt, quickly got of his car, to run towards me.

"Matt" I let out so exasperated and yet so relieved.  
He didn't react back, but simply bent down swiftly, mangling with chains of my wrists and ankles, they were so tight that skin around had turned red and blotchy.

"Hold them out" the auburn haired boy nodded at my wrists, aiming his gun at them.  
My eyes widened. I wanted to say he was crazy and scream; what if he possibly missed the ends links of the chain?

"Hurry dammit"

I scrambled to hold them out, what else did I have left to do.

Matt shot once, aiming at the links, but it only loosened them...not break them  
With a grunt, he slide one hand under my almost bare back and thighs, hauling me up with ease.

"Mello!" with a sharp nod towards the car, the 21 year old made his way towards it, shooting every once and while to any of Wes's members who'd tried to stop him.

I was thrown into the backseat before Matt quickly made it to the driver's seat.

Mello followed soon after, still shooting as he made his way to the passenger's seat.

"Get Wes" Matt grumbled, turning the wheel.

Mello grinned, "You don't have to tell me twice"

The blonde kept shooting where Wes was, but each time he'd shoot, he'd duck out of the way, until Mello finally got his arm, and shot it twice. I watched horrified from the window. Mello was about to shoot Wes once more, but Matt had already taken us out of the shed.

We sped down the dark dirt road for awhile until we finally made it out to the freeway, everything including this rescue had happened all so fast, that I was still trembling from what had happened.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

I slide down, my chains rustling as I laid down in the back seat, trying to calm my nerves.

"Here" my eyes flickered up at Mello glancing back at me; his eyes skimmed over the once wholesome half sleeved shirt that now revealed almost every feature of my body underneath. "Take it" he suddenly looked away, bringing forth a red sweatshirt to me.

"I-I can't" I held up my hands and the chains that tightly kept them together.

Matt looked up at the rear view mirror to look at me, and instead of noticing my indecency, he smiled subtly, to calm me down. "I loosened the links..." he spoke to Mello, "Just break them off for her"

The blonde friend grunted, not because he didn't want to help, but because he'd have to turn around to see my state again.

He gestured for me to hold out my wrists to him, in a way that he wouldn't have to look at me. When I did so, he, with brute force and dint, broke the ending link of my right hand freeing both hands from each other, but the cuffs unfortunately stayed.

"And her ankles…" Matt added.

Mello sighed looking back at me; just as I finished zipping up his soft, chocolate smelling sweatshirt. His eyes lingered down at my bare but chained legs, and then he turned back, "We're in a moving car, I'll free them when we get home"

At least he was logical.

With a sigh I slide down in my seat again, clutching the collar of Mello's sweatshirt, closer to my face. During the whole car ride I, sleepily and dazed, watched the cars pass outside.

I refused to think any longer about what happened, but I knew I wouldn't be able to escape them any longer, because right when I started to fall asleep and forget, someone had to bring them up again.

"You okay?" after a good 10 minutes, Mello, the man I was so terrified of a couple of hours ago, tried to ask as nice as he could, but it really wasn't working…. At least he was trying…..

Matt glanced back at me, to see how I would react. "Did….. W-…." He was about to say his name but then caught himself, "Are you hurt?"

I crossed my legs, playing with the broken button of my pants. "I'm fine….. I just-" I sighed, stopping myself from getting teary eyed. "… I mean no, I just have a few scraps… but that was my own fault"

Matt looked at me confused, but Mello understood I was lying, yet he nevertheless kept silent and continued to refill his gun with bullets.

I looked down at my lap, squeezing my legs together until I got used to the swore aches of my inner thighs. "C-can I ask you two something…?" I finally let out.

The somewhat surprised boys tuned in to me, just as we approached the dark alley where the tavern and hideout lay hidden.

"Can you teach me how to use a gun?"


	6. Chapter 6

It was early morning by the time we'd finally made into the hideout, our whole schedule was messed up, but I was assured by Mello that my timing would always be thrown off, now that I actually agreed on staying with them.

"Now we're even" Matt turned the pin and the last cuff remaining on my ankle finally loosened.

I huffed, rubbing my swore ankles. We weren't close to being even… he was just too generous to admit it.

Mello was sprawled over another sofa, lazily tuning into the headphones that hung around his neck. I refused to know what it was he was listening to; it sure wasn't music… something illegal perhaps… he was probably tapping into someone else's phone system to hear a conversation.

Matt and I let him be with a chocolate bar, sitting across from us.

"You've changed" Matt finally tossed the pin away, slouching against the legs of the couch.

I looked at him confused, "You've only known me for a night….. How do you know I've '_changed_'" I quoted the air.

"Then why do you want to learn how to use a gun?" his dark eyes glanced at me, and tried to understand my reasoning, but I quickly looked away and noticed Mello tuning in into our conversation.

"I-I…"

He watched me intently play with the seams of Mello's sweatshirt.

"You shouldn't do something that you really don't want to do"

The blonde snickered, "Its good she learns. She'll know how to defend herself. If anything she needs it." He waved his chocolate bar at me with languid gestures.

"It's not only that….I want to learn so…." My fists tightened, anger suddenly blazing in my eyes, as I turned to look at Matt in the eye. He tried hard to suppress his sense of surprise from me.

"…. So I can get even with him"

They understood 'him', and silently starred at me maybe because they thought this was all too blunt and happened too fast for my liking.

Mello finally smirked after a long pause. "I'll hold you to it"

Matt sighed, crossing his arms behind his head, "If that's the case….. Congrats"

"For?"

"Growing balls…"

My eyes narrowed.

"…And becoming a part of the Mafia" Mello added with bite to his candy bar.

"It's like I should be happy about this" I laughed sarcastically.

"You should" the gamer continued. "You're a girl"

"You aren't sexist at all"

He rolled his eyes as he pulled out his PSP "I'm just saying. It's hard for a woman to join these days… "

"… For numerous reasons I'm sure you're well aware off" Mello grinned.

My teeth gritted, nervous "Thanks for reminding me"

They were taken aback at the remark; they'd so easily forgotten about my kidnap. It was silently spoken, but two had a gist of what had probably happened when they weren't there; the best they could hope for was that I wouldn't get ill because of it, if so I'd just become a huge burden to them.

Matt ran a hand through his reddish-brown hair suddenly feeling guilty "oh…"

I shrugged, waving the thought quickly away; I refused to think of anything of that anymore. "That's fine…" I slowly spoke. "But-…..can I now have some answers?"

"Ask away" Mello let out, typing something into his laptop as he said so, "You've suffered enough:"

I huffed at the comment, so I had to be raped and physically abused to get answers, hmm? Yeah… that mafia makes soo much sense.

"Well…" I started "… tell me everything"

Matt opened one eye to look at me "I don't think you're up to that level yet"

"Don't you trust me? You had to have, when you came to rescue me"

Mello glanced at Matt then towards me; and with a sigh he rolled his eyes, "To be honest I don't trust you, but as the leader…"

Wait he was the leader….o-of the Mafia?... I think I almost fainted when I heard the fact.

"And as a member…" Matt added.

"…. We have no choice to think you'll be loyal to us"

I shoved my hands into my- well Mello's sweatshirt's pockets, a little pissed off. But I should expect this; I did after all run away and surely just meet them only about 8 hours ago.

"Why wouldn't I be in the first place? Sure, the things you do are very risqué….." my head turned to Matt, but he just lit himself a cigarette to calm himself down. "….but in my eyes you two just saved my life…plus I really have no other choice or anyone else to turn to anymore... "

Matt sighed; smoke filling the area around us. "Fine…"He rubbed his forehead "I assume you want to know about Kira first?"

"No, I know who he is, but why'd we assault Kira's spokesperson, if anything I would think you'd want to be dandy with her so you don't get a heart attack" I poked knowing it'd make both of them guilty for being criminals, but the fact didn't faze them at all.

".. There's more too it" Mello growled "… all you need to know is we're trying to figure out who this Kira really is… alright"

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms "Fine then…. Next question…. Who's Wes?"

Matt took a long drag, slouching deeper into this seat. "Mello can answer that for you"

We looked over to him, and he stopped typing, glaring at me, a bit annoyed and somewhat furious.

"You have to answer."

The blonde grumbled sliding one headphone on his ear before continuing. "He used be the Mafia leader until I came and knocked him down. Left, shortly after I did so, just to bring forth one of his own gangs."

"I guess he's got an inferiority complex when a mere 19 year old beat him" Matt chuckled, pressing a combo. of buttons into his PSP. "And so he's always been after us"

I finally understood; so that's why he kidnapped me, just to toy with Mello and Matt thinking I was someone important to them….and so Stacey…..

My eyes widened; it suddenly dawned on me, that girl I met there was probably important to Matt and Mello once until Wes got to her.

But she seemed so… half-heart in her decision to stay with Wes. She definitely didn't want to be where she was.

I wanted to ask of her to Matt and Mello, so I did… timidly, "And what about St-"

Suddenly, I felt someone cover my mouth, hard.

I glanced to find, Matt tensely starring at me, urging me to stay silent.

Luckily Mello hadn't noticed, and the Matt's gloved hand, slowly moved away from my mouth as he shook his head once towards me.

"What about what?" the young gang leader hadn't noticed since he suddenly got too preoccupied with the hearing on the other side of his headphones.

I shook my head slowly, glimpsing at Matt from the side of my eyes "Nothing…. Never mind"

He nodded absently-mindedly, getting back to his laptop.

* * *

Quickly I wrapped the towel around my red body. I'd taken such a long hot shower to mentality rub off the sensation of Wes's touch that it's resulted into paranoia. While I tried to conceal it from Matt and Mello to make them see I wasn't just some weak straight edge, I still cringed from the thought of Wes and his body pressing against mine.

"Jackie…" I jumped at my name, especially due to the fact that someone had grabbed my wrist so harshly.

Frightened, I snapped out my thoughts and looked up at Matt starring at me intently.

I stood under him in a mere dainty towel which barely covered my body; embarrassed I clung and clutched the ends with one hand to cover as much as I could.

"w-what?" my words shook.

The red head didn't really pay attention at all to my bare skin; he just starred at my face tensely, oh so serious "You shouldn't bring up Stacey around here" his voice turned into a mere whisper when he spoke the girl's name.

I didn't understand why, so I glared at him still frightened and confused.

He sighed, finally letting go of my wrist. "You'll learn in time…. Just for your sake and all of ours…. Don't bring her up" he sported a pleading smile "… okay?"

"I-I…okay….?"

"Good"

And with that Matt pointed at the room down the small narrow hall. "Change in the closet… we don't really have rooms at the moment, so you're gonna have to settle…" it was then did he actually notice the lonely towel pressing against my damp skin. He did a double take before understanding he was standing so close to a nearly half-naked girl.

"ah..-um…" he was most definitely uncomfortable "they're some of our clothes in there…." Embarrassed the gamer quickly grazed over my body to get to the other side just to reach the main living room. "You can choose and keep any you want…"

I nodded and with slow steps, I slipped into the dingy closet. When I got in, it was pretty tight. I had to squeeze and duck under the light bulb that hung low in the middle of the ceiling.

I pick and chose what I assumed were Mello's old baggy pants with zips and multiple pockets. I assumed this only because the style was bit… umm…flashier that anything I observed Matt to wear…. I wore them low rise and since I was a curvier around the hips from the average girl you saw prancing around Japan, Mello's pants actually fit snug and tight around the hips.

I then dung around to find anything I could make my new favorite shirt. And to my surprise I found a fairly new dark black shirt. Its neckline was high like a turtle neck, but with all that coverage, it made up by not having sleeves. And what was surprising from all of this was it was a girl's who happened to by just my size.

Somewhat glad to find this cool shirt, I slide it on and walked out to the hallway.

Flipping my drying long straight black hair over my shoulders I sauntered into the living room somewhat bored and casually, but just as I did, I felt the awkward glare of Mello's tense eyes glaring at me.

Mello sat on the couch looking over the back to stare at me, and it was until a good 5 minutes passed when Matt noticed Mello's unusual silence.

Pausing his Grand Theft Auto game that was up on the TV, the red head turned around. He squinted a bit before his mouth went agape.

"What?" I smiled awkwardly to lessen the tension but that obviously wasn't working.

Mello's lips churned sourly, but then gradually formed into a soft smile "Squeaky Clean?"

I chuckled, suddenly the awkwardness fading away. "Very much" and with a sigh, I plopped next to Mello, who still nonetheless peaked through his bangs at me from time to time.

Matt continued his game reluctantly, but even before he did so he grinned at Mello then at me. "You look like such a badass"

"That or an emo kid" I glanced down out my outfit which was almost all black; it was only the bits of gray and silver of the chains and zips that broke the color.

The gamer laughed slightly and then got back to his game " nah you look just look badass….but…." he spoke slowly as he savored his words. "…..You're missing something..."

"And that would be?"

"These" Mello nonchalantly and somewhat like he didn't care at all, reached under the couch and threw something to me.

I caught and starred at it for a moment before I realized they were arm socks?...

"You two of you are soo weird" I laughed unraveling them before slipping them on.

The two shrugged almost in sync with each other. They were hiding the fact that there some connection with what I wore but refused to say anything.


	7. Chapter 7

_I've had this these two chapters(this and the last) in my files for a while but I just never found enough energy to actually do so until now. But yeah i hope you all chapter is little too extreme but it's k+ for a reason and i have my reasons for what i put Jackie through. One day, after I've finish this whole series will I actually explain and maybe write an analysis... Rate and Review please... with sugar on top? =D_

* * *

Living with two men… no not even… boys had made my life extremely difficult. From accidentally walking in when they were changing-which they finally resorted into doing less and less since I was around- to bickering over if _Halo_ or chocolate was better, I was always caught in the middle. After 3 weeks or so did they finally get comfortable with a girl's presence, since I'd basically become one of the guys anyway.

I'd taken up the task of learning how to use a gun. I no longer was afraid of holding one… or even shooting, but I was still mentally unstable to take on the idea of killing a living creature. And so…. Mello and Matt after showing me their Mafia business as if I were their little apprentice, they'd take me out to the wilderness to practice shooting animals…..and to think I used to be a animal rights activist back in high school….

"Stop trembling…. They'll go away!" Matt sighed, holding my hands to stabilize the gun that I held within my sweaty palms.

We stood a few feet away from a cute little mother rabbit and her bunnies. They were innocently picking berries, nibbling… enjoying their time together, but here I was about to kill the mother….

"Oh man up Jackie" Mello nonchalantly leaned back on a tree, munching on a chocolate bar, as always, as he observed our little spectacle.

"You try killing a mother!" I barked at him.

He sighed, "I already have... and mind you it wasn't a silly rabbit either"

My mouth dropped at his comment; did he even have any morals?

"Mello… stop scaring her" Matt pierced his face with his eyes, his grip on my hand firming as he did so.

The blonde shrugged taking a large bite of his candy bar.

I didn't like the idea of becoming a gunman… wait gunwoman. I'm more a street racer…. My skills revolving around the escape and hit aspect of any business these two would take me on. But I guess this was a requirement if you wanted to stay with the mafia, especially because of the fact that I was a girl.

"What if I shoot that bird up there instead?" I pointed the heavy gun at the puffy bird on a branch. "He doesn't seem as cute"

Matt sighed annoyed and frustrated, letting go of my hands. "You can't just shoot anything depending on their 'cuteness' level…."

"Just hurry up and shoot the damn rabbit!"

I grunted, subtly stomping my foot. I so didn't want to…

I looked over to Matt who gazed back stern and stiff. He was dead set on making me shoot the animal. I'm sure if I didn't he'd be the one to shoot me.

"Okay, okay… I get it…" with a heavy sigh, I straightened my posture, aiming the nose of the gun once again towards the mother rabbit.

I had to remind myself that this was just a rabbit... a silly rabbit that probably just eats and defecates all day…

My finger rested on the trigger; ready pull it back any second.

I starred the rabbit down, almost angry, until she suddenly nuzzled her face into her little bunnies.

I shivered, a tear forming in my eye.

How could I kill a mother? What would happen to the bunnies? They obviously don't have a father rabbit around…

With a sniffle to stop the crying, I let go the gun, letting it drop on the grass.

"Oh for the love of god!" with cry of frustration, Mello suddenly, took out his gun and quickly shot down the rabbit. The loud ring echoed in the forest, making almost every animal in site run away.

"Mello!" I looked over at the little family and there lay the mother in gruesome horror, the bunnies trying to understand why their mother wasn't waking up.

I cried, "How could you do that!"

Matt sighed, lighting himself a cigarette, somewhat relieved of that fact that this practice was over.

"You were taking too damn long" Mello shoved his gun back into his pocket before heading out to the car.

I wiped my tears, still sniffling as I followed. "b-but"

"Jackie you're thinking about it too much…" Matt let out, trailing behind me. "… You'll never be able to kill Wes if you do what you just did"

"But that wasn't Wes; that was just a poor mother rabbit…" my stomach churned just thinking about what Mello did. I wanted to throw up.

"Then maybe we need to put you under more danger for you to shoot" Mello smirked, as he waited for Matt to unlock the car.

My eyes narrowed. I couldn't even comment to that.

* * *

It was the shivers that got to me. They were so spontaneous, and unexplainable; I couldn't put two and two together to figure what was going on.

What followed after was near death in pain.

I tried to walk down those stairs as if I was okay, but I knew the look on my face deceiving; so misleading that the two noticed.

"Thinking about the rabbit, Jacks?" Matt teased, as we stepped into the hideout.

I chuckled, grimly, "Not quite" clutching my hips tightly, did I finally get over to the couch.

I don't know maybe it was the anxiety of watching a little cuddly thing die that made me this way. I flung myself on the sofa, lying on my stomach to press the ulcer like pains away.

"Hungry?" Mello looked at my confused, before handling over the chocolate bar he was nibbling on. I felt honored, he never gave his chocolate to anyone, but I had to decline, food would probably make this worse.

"Nah…"I shook my head, before digging my head into the sofa's arm rest.

* * *

The day passed slowly, I'd come to notice that most of our work took it's place during nighttime and if we were lucky during the evenings just before the sun would dip under the horizon. So with that in mind, today I'd just laid around on the couch all day, trying to get some sleep to escape the uncomfortable state I was in… Matt had left around 7pm-ish on a drug import. Apparently it's too dangerous for me to go to; so for now I stayed behind with Mello. Mello would be tapping into the conversation if the meeting gets too dangerous for Matt and so we'd come in for backup.

"Here" Mello tossed something to my head, and I looked up a bit annoyed. "Don't tell Matt of your little problem…" he slipped on one of the headphones off his ear and picking his feet up to rest on the coffee table.

Confused, I reached for whatever it was he threw to my head. My fingers skimmed over something box like….

Picking it up, I read what the box said…my eyes widened.

"Don't joke around like that" I got angry and threw the pregnancy test back at this head.

He wasn't laughing, he was dead serious. "I'm just saying… better terminate it before it gets into a bigger problem"

I couldn't believe what he was telling me. It was as if he thought something so serious like abortion could be dealt with so easily.

"How can you be so damn sure, anyway?"

He glared at me for a moment, before getting back to his laptop. He didn't have to say anything for me to understand.

"That's not enough proof"

Mello shrugged, "Just don't become a burden…if you need anyone to take care of it… I know a place"

My eyes narrowed, his comments frightened me. In no time period of my life would I ever even think about getting an abortion. "Are you kidding me?"

He gave me a dangerously furious look. "Just go and check, or else I'll punch your stomach to get it over with either way"

Gosh I can't he be just a little subtle about things like this?

"Fine…" I heaved heavily getting off the couch.

"Damn women…"

I thumped his head, annoyed, "Shut the fuck up…"

"Jackie!"

I ignored him and went straight into the restroom, I'm sure he was probably piercing my back as I went, but what could he do? Kill me? He's learned I'm way too good of a street racer for him to give up.

The blondie couldn't help but peer up at me. He was curious but kept a cruel façade as if to scare me and to be honest it really did.

"So what?" his voice was so bitter.

I was at my wits; I'd already spent the last minutes in the bathroom unable to understand what was going on. I felt like the idea that I was pregnant hadn't hit me yet…. I was acting as if I'd never seen that damned little pink plus…

I exhaled a heavy yet shaky breath, throwing the box at his head. I didn't want to answer.

He grunted at the hit, but then stared at me waiting for me to answer him "I'm talking to you."

Dammit…. I'm not guilty…..No, not at all. It isn't my fault at all. I shouldn't be afraid; I should give birth to this thing and throw at that guy's face. I'm not maternal and nor am I freaking ready to be.

He slipped off both ear buds, "hey-"

"-I am" I spoke quickly and sharply, so wouldn't have to make me say it again.

Mello blankly stared at me for a while, then got furious and tense but then smirked "I knew it"

I wanted to chuck something at him again. "This isn't god damn funny! And nor is this a game!" my eyes were blazing with hatred and I was ready to break down and-and just…

"But this IS a game." Mello's grin was still plastered on his face as he shut his laptop and set it aside before getting up. "… and you just have to play it right"

I was trying to block him out of my head, but I couldn't help but listen through the small tears I didn't want him noticing' but of course he did. And when he did he scoffed. "B-But"

"-Hey!" he pointed at me sternly, "-you're part of this life and trust me there are way worse things that can happen. Granted this isn't the best of start, but you're gonna have to fucking suck it up and deal with it"

"Mello!" I stomped my feet oh so hard and cried out loud. I hated how he was taking this so easily and trying to teach me how to freaking deal with life. I know damn well how to deal with life, but this? This shouldn't be a part of life, in fact, it shouldn't be a part of _my_ life. I just want to become a journalist….

"What?" he barked "Get off that mindset that you're gonna go home eventually and live a perfect life, because if you haven't noticed you have a new duty now" he grabbed my wrist strongly and forced me to follow him.

"Hey!"

I struggled to let him go of my hand, but he just pulled me up to the bar. I kept crying, not wanting to swallow the huge truth pill Mello had shoved into my mouth, but I had no choice.

I eventually stopped struggling and when he led me up the bar, he waved at the bar tender to come over. I didn't spend much time up here for the room was always filled with drunken perverts and low-class whores.

"For a cheap way to solve this…." the bartender came over, leaning over the counter. Today was the owner's day off and so 'Daisy', according to the name tag pinned on her chest, was on shift. She leaned over the counter to rest those racks she was so willing to show off and smiled cheeky at Mello. The blonde looked at her and then her breasts, twice, before continuing with a narrow grin he was trying to suppress "…three"

He just held up three fingers and she instantly understood what Mello was asking for. I guess, he came up often to see her…

"… is to drink that thing away…"

My eyes widened and I suddenly felt so sick to my stomach "That doesn't necessarily work! It-it could come out deformed and… and mentally challenged… and-and, its murder?"

"As if aborting isn't?" he harshly whispered when he noticed others looking at us after my hysterical outburst. "Besides, don't' act is if you're gonna keep it, because you're not"

"I-I"

"Look, as crude as this is" he spoke dry and so… so ignorantly "…I know you don't want to be the mother of Wes' child… trust me, he doesn't want that thing"

I covered my mouth, and started violently crying. I just couldn't help it. I can't handle this shit anymore.

"-Hey…" the lady came over to rest two full beer bottles in front of me and one in front of Mello. She was about to stay and talk when Mello waved her away. "…. Just drink it up…"

I sunk deep into my hands, weeping so much that tears were leaking in-between my fingers. After a moment, did I finally lift a few fingers to look up at Mello, who had some concern and empathy, but I could have surely made a mistake at the time, because I just couldn't make sense of anything at that moment.

He pushed the bottle towards me and I shed more tears as I reluctantly gripped the brown bottle and swung the Heineken into my pressed lips.


	8. Chapter 8

That was my true initiation, I suppose, my first step... my first phase. I was changing, slowly.

I'd drunken five... No, six bottles before downing three shots. I'd drank them like water, sobbing every time I remembered this wasn't just 'water' but something else… poison; something so lethal and dangerous to it.

It would have been less shameful and degrading if all those people I called whores and perverts hadn't witnessed my pitiful show.

I vomited, laughed, cried and then vomited again. I'd never consumed that much and my life. I hated it.

The next morning was worse; I had to find it in myself to suck everything up and bottle it away until I'd get into shower and spill and pour it all away.

"I heard the two of you had a fun night" Matt was gone for most of the night and returned just before Mello had thrown me into a shower. He was now on one of the chairs, looking up at me from his paused game on the PSP.

"Well I wouldn't exactly call it fun…" I brought my wet hair to one side and sat lazily on the floor between the two's chair, in front of the TV.

Mello huffed with a slight chuckle but kept watching the news channel.

"How about you?" I rubbed my head. Thor's hammer was panging each swing so hard onto my temples. "How did the deal thing go?"

The blonde looked down at me and then made a face "I love how you actually care"

"Shut up"

He laughed and then returned to his television with a finger in his mouth.

Matt sighed "we're going to have to sell it tonight and them come home for the split."

"Split?"

"Jacks, you don't mind other Mafia members staying the night do you?"

"Heh?" I was just not up to any other antics that could make me even worse of a person at the moment.

The red head waved his hand as if it were nothing "we're breaking down the money. If you're lucky, you'll get some too"

"But she didn't even do anything?" Mello suddenly turned from the set again and glared from me and then Matt "over my dead body"

"I don't even want it"

Matt paused his game and shockingly looked down to me. "I knew you were a straight edge, but come on, its money"

"I'm okay really…" seriously it made happier to decline because this money was tainted, I didn't want any part of it.

"Better be…"

"You know what Blondie? I don't really need it from you…" Mello growled, offended and Matt was trying to suppress his chuckle "I'm already accepting the fact that I won't be getting any money… what else do you want?"

His glare was deathly and his temper was rising so high it literally made him red and when I turned from him it finally exploded.

"Show some respect you-"

"-Ookay.." Matt stopped him before he could continue

His voice was harsh and raspy and his hands tightened around the arms rest of his chair while he glowered at the back of my head. "She's a fucking idiot…" Mello suddenly got up and walked away to the bar upstairs.

I refused to look or follow him with my gaze, but I found myself peaking through my bangs to get one last look of him before he left, and he was frustrated, angry and somewhat disappointed, altogether.

Matt didn't quite say anything after that, in fact, he just sighed and continued with the game. I guess he understood Mello well enough to know not to interfere with a man like him. And here I was challenge not once, but twice; but hey isn't that what they wanted? For me to have some guts? So here… take it.

I sat next the leg of Matt's chair for the next few hours or so, the continuous pings and pangs of the game he was playing calming me down. Every now and then I'd lean my back again the leg, hold my knees, close my eyes and doze off. And this right here would eventually become a ritual of ours.

"Did he blow his top while I was gone last night?"

Matt's question out of the blue like that caught me off guard.

"Eh…" I shrugged "not quite, I'm just not getting used to the whole 'mafia' lifestyle, that's all"

He let out a small and deep chuckle "Mello's just makes everything more… dramatic. We aren't as 'hardcore' as you want to believe"

I doubt it. Life, as you can see, is very stupidly vulgar and dramatic. Here, only two weeks into being a member and I was drinking into oblivion to get a miscarriage meanwhile the leader so nonchalantly encourages the said murder. Yeah, he's right, this isn't 'hardcore', not at all…

"Are you, now…"

"Hey…." He caught my sarcastic tone in my voice and blankly watched me, "… just remember Mello and I choose this lifestyle because normal society couldn't handle what we really wanted"

"And what is it that you want?"

The red head had pressed his lips together and then licked them before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He'd finished with the game and shoved the PSP back into his pocket. "Recognition…Respect"

* * *

Mello didn't eventually get over me calling him 'blondie'. But tonight when the 'guys' came over it was all forgotten of and our emotions from what happened last night would never be brought up again, ever. I figured it was because he was pitiful of what I had and was going through.

I think when I thought of the mafia my immediate thought were big Italian men with top hats like Al Capone and swag like true gangster, but the men I meet redefined my image of the mafia…. Sure they were still big-well some- and pretty damn daunting, they fit the evil bald and young stereotype.

"A girl? Come on Mello, did you fuck her or something?"

I was offended and glared at the talk man named Wally who'd walked up to the table I sat by. He had a large scar that stretch from his left check across his nose and to the right check.

"Hey!"

Mello grinned and then spoke calmly "no, but ask you friend Matt"

The man, probably of the age thirty-five, found and smirked at the gamer. He'd been so preoccupied with something else that when he found the Wally grinning at him, Matt just confusedly smirked back.

"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I get 'fucked' over every single night, you sexiest-"

"Hey, wait she was on the news, no?" another one of the men suddenly found my attention. He was younger and much more lanky; he had deep bags under eyes and wore a skull cap which made his dirty blonde hair flip out where the seams of the cap ended. If I didn't know any better, he looked those guys from high school who fiercely believed marijuana was good for you.

"I was?"

"Dude, you were all over channel 9 a few weeks ago."

"He's not lying" Matt added casually.

"You knew, but didn't tell me?"

He tried to speak in between the drags of the cigarette one of the members passed him, Iido "I thought you wouldn't really care"

Wouldn't care? I care, tremendously. I'm sure I've already been expelled from my university, let alone put up on the most wanted list. But let's not even talk about what my parents and family must have felt when they'd watched me on the news….

Suddenly his eyes wavered and when I meet with his gaze; he saw the sadness and sighed just faintly "I thought it'd be better for you if I just never told you…"

I knew I was about to tear up again but aggressively crossed my arms and looked away, swallowing down the huge knot in my throat.

Iido coughed to suddenly break the tension. It wasn't because all the other mobsters were noticing that he wanted to end all the apprehension hanging thick in the air, for they were all with Mello across the room chatting and having a good time, but it was because he didn't want to get caught up in everything. "Look…"

My eyes flickered to Iido. He was a handsome and wholesome man; someone I wouldn't think could ever belong to a gang like this. But obliviously looks were deceiving; he was the tech guy, along with Matt. He was the nerdy thick glasses framed guy but with an acrobatic physique, suggesting he did more than just type codes into a computer. "…it's really alright, just take it…" he slide out a wad of cash onto the table when he noticed Wally cruise away to join Mello with the heavy drinking. Iido'd been splitting the money to Matt and the younger kid skull cap kid, Keith, until Wally had decided to pick notice on me.

Mine and Matt's subject was quickly dropped "… No really…it's alright" I pushed it back towards him when I saw Mello lazily looking this way, but that wasn't why I gave the money back to him.

Iido looked at me skeptically through those lens and flipped his dark brown hair away from his head with a flip of the head.

"I'll take it…" Matt rested his hand over and slide into his pocket "… when you need it just ask me…" he spoke to me but I didn't know what to say, only because I kind of felt appreciated.

Iido grinned inwardly; his expression wicked as he finally sat around the round table with the three of us. "If you really feel like you don't deserve it, why don't you just… " he racked his head for the right words "…prove yourself by winning a race"

I'd be lying if he didn't catch my attention. I was frightened about how he knew? Did everyone else?

I lowered my head with him to harshly whisper "… how-"

"Wait…" Keith was excited; I saw it in his face. The way his expression suddenly lit up with a sinful smile "…Jackie…." He played my name in head numerous times "...you're the-"

Matt stopped him, looking back at the other men loudly bantering and drunkenly falling over with so much merriment before looking back at the three of us, me, specifically with a narrow smirk "…I had my doubts at first, but I made Iido search you up…"

"-The knight rider!

I glared at Keith while Iido shoved him to shut up because of the sudden attention we'd caught from a few others.

"Not anymore…" I hissed about to get up and walk away but Keith's rant went on.

"…You were a legend in Ikebukuro! But then you had that accident…" he spoke as he were there "…you're name exploded on the chat rooms of the underground. You're identity was hidden for so long that people were surprised when they found out it was a sixteen-seventeen girl all this time beating all those badass underground street racers!..."

Iido and Matt looked at each, both openly smirking at me while I tried to sink in my chair and just hide. "Maybe I should have put Keith up for research..." Matt comment with a chuckle.

The blonde slightly blushed before continuing with his own question for me "… why'd you disappear?"

I knew this day would come one day….The day I'd be questioned for my decisions of my past life I tried hard to erase. I knew it was foolish to think I could completely forget all that when we lived in such a society.

"… The same reason I kept my identity hidden for all those years"

The three looked at me confused; would I have to spell it out for them?

"My real life… my family, my dad…after people knew who I was, I wasn't safe."

"Is that why you left Ikebukuro to Tokyo?"

I shrugged, "no, not really. It's was simple, my family just moved"

"Alright" Iido rested a hand on Keith's shoulder to stop his little love affair. I was sure he was more in love with my past record as the Knight Rider then crushing on me, myself "…so how about this..."

Matt interrupted him before he could continue "there's an underground race near the city Ikebukuro tonight, are you in?"

"Maybe we could double… triple the money…" Iido acted as if it were an innocent and simple task…

No, not at all! I promised myself to let all that go when I saw my father so upset with me. Street racing is just way too dangerous, how are you supposed to conceal such big cars with so many people witnessing everything?

"I stopped all that for a reason…" I should have yelled at them, but instead I spoke calmly...

"You have no more parents to worry about…"

"So what reason do you have now to stop now?" the redhead finished Iido's sentence with a hopeful and playful smile, moving his cigarette from one corner of his mouth to the other.

"I…" I didn't feel up to it; with so much going on, this was going to be another one stupid idea added to my list of stupid actions since joining the Japanese mafia.

The three of them looked at me with so much anticipation; with all the pressure, they were sure I was about to cave… and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to take a hand in racing again. As much as I was scornful of my past, it was fun while it lasted, surely.

I sighed, crossing my arms with a bitter grin "Whose car do I use?"


End file.
